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I simply can't keep up with you guys! I've been so terribly sick this past week, so I'm all behind on reading the posts and stuff. My left ear is still clogged, which thows off my equilibrium making it more difficult to read. Bodies. I hope to come back from the dead pretty soon and rejoin the rambling and Bowie exalting (or damning. Yeah, Fuck You David Bowie!! for making me feel like I've been run over by a tractor.)
Anna Sorry Jimmy thought that was a rhetorical question. No, no one calls Lakshmi Shri. I don't think Lakshmi would accept it. She is strong minded. One time when she was 9 there was this gang at school. The main girl wanted Lakshmi as her friend but a subservient friend and a member of her gang. Lakshmi would not accept this although she wanted to be friends with this girl. The gang leader did nothing herself but other girls started picking on Lakshmi. Well it took 6 months and a lot of heartache but Lakshmi broke that gang. On a lighter note - Once when Lakshmi was about 4 she and Rahoul (her brother older by 2 years) were playing at sword fighting. My cousin Sher Jung, a Punjabi writer, very well known for his humour walked in and seeing her with a sword called her 'Maha Lakshmi'. Shashi and I still laugh about that one. Sher Jung passed away about 5 years ago. I still miss his humour and knowledge of Punjabi and Urdu poetry.
Ashok What about Great White? I guess they made it out of there. Proof that practicing good taste in music could save your life. I hope that you don't get that call, Coop. -thoughts are with you.
jimmy The irony gods are out in force this morning. People die for all sorts of questionable causes every day, but one of the worst ways to go has to be illegal pyrotechnics from a hair metal band, and filmed by a news station getting the "local angle" on the Chicago nightclub fire from last week. So far, I haven't heard of anyone I knew who was there - my clubbing-type friends are getting on in their grad school careers, and don't go out on weeknights anymore. But I keep bracing myself for the phone to ring. Anyway.
coop Ashok! What about the "Shri" question? I'm terribly curious.
jimmy All this talk of war has disturbed my peace of mind and that in turn is causing the nail on the little toe on my left foot to grow at an accelerated rate. So if you see a man with a limp in his left foot and a pained expression on his face give him a second thought. He is a victim of the war. Driving back from visiting my brother on Sunday last, my mother, who it will become obvious was in the car with me when she speaks, said that she had been sorting out some pictures of Hindu Gods. Over time most Hindu families tend to accumulate these pictures. We feel guilty and afraid to throw them away and the only three ‘safe’ ways are to leave them in a temple, cast them in a river (canal will do in a pinch) or pass them to someone. My mother’s collection was destined for the temple the next day. Mum had put aside a couple for me knowing my, earlier, interest in Krishna. These were of Krishna teaching Arjuna in the middle of the battlefield. However when I went through the pictures I chose one of Shiva. This is one in which Shiva is darker than usual. And although Shiva, sitting cross-legged, is not in the full lotus position I saw a certain strength there. Also serenity. Since Sunday, on and off, I have been thinking about which of the following two expresses reality more closely: Strength in serenity. Serenity in strength. What do you think? Answers on a $100 bill to the usual address.
Ashok I'll have a little Baptist preaching with my Patriot Soup please! Here's an Op/Ed article at Yahoo News, about the very thing that people like my "good Christian" Mother completely overlook, or dismiss as, the country should support God, it's God that made this country great! Part of Bush's 2004 budget would go to support churches which offer souplines or other social support programs. They even reverse former rulings to make it easier for those institutions to get-away with discrimination, Federal funding for new buildings, all with little or no government oversight into how the money is being spent. Seperation of church and state? Only as long as the church isn't supporting the government's propaganda! "Clear ground rules quell worries on religious funding" Yes this administration is willing to back any special interest supporter, as long as they are a supporter. And the Freedom Tramplers go marching on! Awwa \A/
Aw Angry at the French? Want to express your Pro-American views through your food choices, but can't get past the name "French Fries"? Now you can, with Freedom Fries! Just don't go getting the Liberty Measles on us now, as wonderful as that might sound. "Anti-German propaganda fueled support for the war, but it also contributed to intolerance on the home front. Dachshunds were renamed liberty dogs, German measles were renamed liberty measles, and the City University of New York reduced by one credit every course in German. Fourteen states banned the speaking of German in public schools." author: aaron@propagandacritic.com _____________________ Only slightly related to the above...: I am becoming increasingly alarmed at how pre-fifties America is willing to become. I thought movies like Starship Troopers were tongue in cheek...that Americans were aware of propaganda and how it is used. Initially, and to avoid the use of the word "War", the War on Terrorism was called a "crusade", but the Bush administration soon realized that some of their Muslim allies might take offense to that term for obvious reasons. I find it funny, actually. Propaganda and media manipulation are not only still alive, completely understood, and blaringly obvious, it is also encouraged by the people it is heaped upon. The beauty of this is illustrated by the very thing which caused my complaint...the BBC article headline says "French Fries Off US Menu". This is one diner in North Carolina, however I am sure that anyone who reads the article will then quote it as though this idiotic trend is sweeping through America. I would, had I not stopped to think about it. It's only natural to do. After September 2001, the news was quick to show us images of Muslims running through the streets and celebrating the tragedy. Watching it, we are truly not really sure if the entire country felt this way, a tiny village, or six people caught on film. The way it's presented however, leads us to believe that the entire country hates America and is responsible for the bombings. Personally, I could have done without those images. they did nothing to shape my views. But disc-jockeys, televangelists, AM radio "personalities" (un-personalities, really), all of these people whose careers are made by their ability to keep a listener's attention, locked onto the imagery and used it in their rhetoric, painting ugly pictures the listener / observer still cannot verify as truth, fiction or perversion. Even if it were true and true of the entire country, we still have to marvel at the ability for the media to present the images to us without regard for any historical atrocities suffered by such a people that might give them cause to celebrate. Truth, I think, may be the type of thing that could prevent all wars. Sometimes I wish that human beings were all cued into a single entity like the Borg. Except, well, more attractive than Borg. 6 or 7 of 9 or whatever not withstanding. I'll continue to take it all with a grain of salt, and perhaps some Freedom Fries. In our cases, maybe it's the Liberty Anthrax you should avoid. -jimmy
jimmy there seems to be a big overlap in the soda and pop regions, but some of that could be explained by those upper midwesterners who actually say "sodapop." egads.
Miss Speck and the Giant Librarians Actually it's worse Jeff. She was a freshman when I was a senior. Robyn's class. Oy!
coop Coop, damn, I thought I was the writer. Sheesh. We went to school with her? Please don't tell me she was a freshman when I was a senior, I'll freak. This is what I get for escaping from the Great White North. Jimmy, who are you trying to kid? A tutor? We know you've really been moonlighting for the government as a graphics designer. Awwa, as Paul Auster recently said "No poet worth his salt is harmless". Did Mrs. Bush ever screw up. It's one thing to pick a fight with a blood-thirsty dictator, but the government should know better than to piss off poets. There might be hope for America's youth, after all. As for the Pepsi, thing, I never noticed growing up. But that's probably because of the little box with the Pepsi logo on top of our tv that blacked out Coke commercials. All I know, it's definitely soda.
jeffron x Awwa, that speech is fantastic, thanks. Jimmy, say it loud. And say it proud.
chiefwagonburner That's really cool, Jimmy! I know it will be a learning experience for all concerned. I wish you the best, and know that the students will gain a lot! Please Jimmy! Be my tutor! Heh! Actually, I mean that! Heh! Just name your price! Name the subject! Teach me... Anything! Okay, on to other things... Coop I finally read the rest of the story... Why is Pepsi the only beverage offered in Maine? That was fun! And I finally read the book review(?) article about "Culture Jamming(?)" Wow! Perhaps that is how the next revolution will occur! Only all communications are controlled by, "Them." Thus no emails, no Internet communications, no fax, no telephone, no postal mail, no unobserved in-person meetings; because They control it all!~ Alas, it would be nice to get out from under "it!" To be free to jam bent quarters into "deposit required" shopping cart dispensers. Hey, I might not be able to afford the book online; but if I see one in a store, I'll do my best to steal it, Heh! Search for and read about the "Lida Machine." At Yahoo, out of 98 total matches, and of that on the first 2 pages (20 hits each), 40 matching links; there were only 2 or 3 URLs which were not directly talking about the Lida Machine. And those were Megadeath pages, wherein apparently the band has a song titled or use the lyric "Lida Machine" HA! A lot of this stuff is probably watered down, misinformation. Useless to any real information consumer. I guess my point is, how come that search was so narrow in discovery? Why didn't the search generate some thousand, or hundred at least, hits? Is the "Lida Machine" so specific a search object? What would appear if you searched for "Weapons of Mass Destruction" (1 - 20 of 647,000) or "Bush's War with Iraq Plan?" (No results were found for your search: "Bush's War with Iraq Plan".), Heh! Here's a poem I just composed! "The Dove And the Hawk" A Dove who knows Hawks. A Dove who understands and out-manuevers Hawks. A Hawk who looks like a Dove. A Dove who is a Hawk. A Hawk who is a Dove. A Dove who looks like a Hawk. A Hawk who understands and out-manuevers Doves. A Hawk who knows Doves. Peace Y'all! Awwa \A/
Aw Well Awwa, they accepted my price which is great! Now I have a wedensday gig. They have two daughters, and I'll be working with the younger of them, and if it goes well, perhaps the eldest daughter too. It's 5th grade math, which is pretty hard when you're in fifth grade if the teacher isn't thorough or doesn't give special attention. We'll see what happens.
jimmy Math Tutor wanted. Family of four need to know how to cypher. Five Dallars up front, five Dallars when we kin add and subtract. Snacks will be supplied. BYOB. Heh! Sorry Jimmy, I caught your posted plea before it mysteriously disappeared. Oh and I mean no disrespect upon whoever it is that is seeking the knowledge. Education is the best way to guard against ignorance. God, I'm so full of it! Anyway, I apologize for the length of my last post. I didn't have a link to Senator Byrd's speech to the Senate, and so I just copied the whole post. You can browse down below the speech to see my closing statements, by looking for the next set of : === ================================================= I agree with you Jimmy that voluntary segregation isn't quite the same as enforced segregation. I mean it in the sense of, if all humans are equal, and thus equally loved by "God(s)", then wouldn't you expect to see similar demographics reflected in the congregation? I can only speak from the viewpoint of the churches that I've been to. But many of the all white churches are that way because that's the way they like it. Those same god-fearing citizens, also fear people who are not like them. And the church does nothing to disspell that ignorance. When instead, I envision the will of God as being that we find a way to better understand, appreciate, and get along with all kinds of people. And that the church should be at the forefront of this universal acceptance. Some of the Gospell Holiness churches which held soup lines and sandwich giveaways to feed the homeless (I visited while on the road), had a much more diverse (perhaps due to the circumstances) congregation. But that to me was a friendlier, more accepting environment. I'm not kidding myself there either, give-aways are not the same as regular organized church-going, and the Gospell churches may have had alterior motives. But at least no one seemed to care what color you were, or whether you held a particular political view, or whether your socks were washed, kinda easy like that. I'm pretty much turned-off by most religions as they are practiced. I believe in the moral and ethical issues very strongly! Perhaps it's only through organized religion that we are able to teach young people (children) the basics of those morals or ethics. But most organized religions have their own agendas, and those are usually not dictated by God's will! =========================================================== I was just reading another crime story and an insight hit me. What we are seeing with Bush's whole push to go to war with Iraq, is very much like what a lynching looks like. We might have forgotten or glazed over some of the 20th Century lynchings by the KKK amoung others. We might believe that we as a civilization are beyond falling for a big mouthed huckster, declaiming a suspect for horrible crimes, as yet unproven. Did anyone see the ending to "The Gauntlet?" If he must, Bush is willing to shoot the accused himself! But all of this without due process. No trial, no evidence, no crime. A war fought all because Bush says he's/they're guilty (or they are gonna be guilty, if we don't act)! Not very American to me. Lynch mob mentality is a disgrace to the use of any mentality at all! Just say "No" to war, or say nothing at all, the rest will happen even without your consent! Peace and Love! Awwa \A/
Aw Hooya. Televangelists rock. These creatures have to read opinion polls and television ratings to see how America feels about them, but they know exactly what god is thinking. ________________ Segregation: I'm not sure that a 'white' or 'black' church should be considered 'segregated' just by virtue of its being homogeneously one or the other, even if it is voluntary. I'm pretty sure this isn't what you're saying though, Awwa. ________________ I want to puke, my friends. I have avoided English classes since the beginning of my excruciatingly long accademic bufoonery began. I am now taking a regular english class and have come to discover that it is being taught "from a black perspective". It is too late to change my schedule. I don't have time to blast the forum with why this oxymoronic misnomer should be ruled out of course schedules and appointment books, but perhaps someday, instead of putting you into a coma with the "long boring story of my pinky toe" I will blast you with the exciting details of the Nigger vs. Honky Wars (whenever-2003). I sit in the front of the class, red faced and ready to throw my desk while I listen to pseudo-poetic discharges by young 'mulato' girls who claim that their mothers or fathers "just liked chocolate" while reading their autobiographical essays to the class. I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!! I mean YELL!!! In a manly way. Men yell, see. Only girly men and women scream. (The last few setences were derived using the logic of people in my class; it may seem obscure to you, but replace men and women with objects and adjectives of race and see how that, while attempting to maintain that there are really no differences between the two historically battling groups beneath a microscope and in fashionable thought, people have this propensity to defend them using the logic they are trying to debunk. I'll make sense about it later. Right now, I want to SCREAM!!!)
jimmy I wrote this at the Yahoo group, "The Mental Hygiene League:" ================================================== It was really good to see worldwide, how many people were protesting US's (Bush's) push for war with Iraq! A million people in London, possibly the world's largest anti-war march ever! And here in the US, many cities had major turn-outs against Bush's imperialistic politics! Even if Bush pushes on (and it seems likely he will), the people of the US and of the world are being heard! Maybe it will at least be enough to galvanize voters against re-electing Bush. It would be political suicide to just act like the protests don't mean anything to him politically. In truth, I believe that it is revealing a good portion of the silent majority, who hasn't said much about the way the election was stolen, the lousy shape of the economy, the ecological issues being trampled, rights and freedoms being challenged in the name of the "War on Terrorists", and other policies "enacted" by this administration. What I'd like to see is enough support in the US, to elect a President who would mostly reverse the harm put forth by Bush's policies and mandates. Even to the point to impeach Bush (post- Presidency if needed) and his administration, as an illegal, and thus indictable, and held to pay for the harm to America and the world. It is criminal the indignations and injustices the US has faced under the current administraion. =============================================== Then another member and real life friend posted a speech, I believe given on the Senate floor recently: =============================================== Reckless Administration May Reap Disastrous Consequences by US Senator Robert Byrd To contemplate war is to think about the most horrible of human experiences. On this February day, as this nation stands at the brink of battle, every American on some level must be contemplating the horrors of war.Yet, this Chamber is, for the most part, silent -- ominously, dreadfully silent. There is no debate, no discussion, no attempt to lay out for the nation the pros and cons of this particular war. There is nothing. We stand passively mute in the United States Senate, paralyzed by our own uncertainty, seemingly stunned by the sheer turmoil of events. Only on the editorial pages of our newspapers is there much substantive discussion of the prudence or imprudence of engaging in this particular war. And this is no small conflagration we contemplate. This is no simple attempt to defang a villain. No. This coming battle, if it materializes, represents a turning point in U.S. foreign policy and possibly a turning point in the recent history of the world. This nation is about to embark upon the first test of a revolutionary doctrine applied in an extraordinary way at an unfortunate time. The doctrine of preemption -- the idea that the United States or any other nation can legitimately attack a nation that is not imminently threatening but may be threatening in the future -- is a radical new twist on the traditional idea of self defense. It appears to be in contravention of international law and the UN Charter. And it is being tested at a time of world-wide terrorism, making many countries around the globe wonder if they will soon be on our -- or some other nation's -- hit list. High level Administration figures recently refused to take nuclear weapons off of the table when discussing a possible attack against Iraq. What could be more destabilizing and unwise than this type of uncertainty, particularly in a world where globalism has tied the vital economic and security interests of many nations so closely together? There are huge cracks emerging in our time-honored alliances, and U.S. intentions are suddenly subject to damaging worldwide speculation. Anti-Americanism based on mistrust, misinformation, suspicion, and alarming rhetoric from U.S. leaders is fracturing the once solid alliance against global terrorism which existed after September 11. Here at home, people are warned of imminent terrorist attacks with little guidance as to when or where such attacks might occur. Family members are being called to active military duty, with no idea of the duration of their stay or what horrors they may face. Communities are being left with less than adequate police and fire protection. Other essential services are also short-staffed. The mood of the nation is grim. The economy is stumbling. Fuel prices are rising and may soon spike higher. This Administration, now in power for a little over two years, must be judged on its record. I believe that that record is dismal. In that scant two years, this Administration has squandered a large projected surplus of some $5.6 trillion over the next decade and taken us to projected deficits as far as the eye can see. This Administration's domestic policy has put many of our states in dire financial condition, under funding scores of essential programs for our people. This Administration has fostered policies which have slowed economic growth. This Administration has ignored urgent matters such as the crisis in health care for our elderly. This Administration has been slow to provide adequate funding for homeland security. This Administration has been reluctant to better protect our long and porous borders. In foreign policy, this Administration has failed to find Osama bin Laden. In fact, just yesterday we heard from him again marshaling his forces and urging them to kill. This Administration has split traditional alliances, possibly crippling, for all time, International order-keeping entities like the United Nations and NATO. This Administration has called into question the traditional worldwide perception of the United States as well-intentioned, peacekeeper. This Administration has turned the patient art of diplomacy into threats, labeling, and name calling of the sort that reflects quite poorly on the intelligence and sensitivity of our leaders, and which will have consequences for years to come. Calling heads of state pygmies, labeling whole countries as evil, denigrating powerful European allies as irrelevant -- these types of crude insensitivities can do our great nation no good. We may have massive military might, but we cannot fight a global war on terrorism alone. We need the cooperation and friendship of our time-honored allies as well as the newer found friends whom we can attract with our wealth. Our awesome military machine will do us little good if we suffer another devastating attack on our homeland which severely damages our economy. Our military manpower is already stretched thin and we will need the augmenting support of those nations who can supply troop strength, not just sign letters cheering us on. The war in Afghanistan has cost us $37 billion so far, yet there is evidence that terrorism may already be starting to regain its hold in that region. We have not found bin Laden, and unless we secure the peace in Afghanistan, the dark dens of terrorism may yet again flourish in that remote and devastated land. Pakistan as well is at risk of destabilizing forces. This Administration has not finished the first war against terrorism and yet it is eager to embark on another conflict with perils much greater than those in Afghanistan. Is our attention span that short? Have we not learned that after winning the war one must always secure the peace? And yet we hear little about the aftermath of war in Iraq. In the absence of plans, speculation abroad is rife. Will we seize Iraq's oil fields, becoming an occupying power which controls the price and supply of that nation's oil for the foreseeable future? To whom do we propose to hand the reigns of power after Saddam Hussein? Will our war inflame the Muslim world resulting in devastating attacks on Israel? Will Israel retaliate with its own nuclear arsenal? Will the Jordanian and Saudi Arabian governments be toppled by radicals, bolstered by Iran which has much closer ties to terrorism than Iraq? Could a disruption of the world's oil supply lead to a world-wide recession? Has our senselessly bellicose language and our callous disregard of the interests and opinions of other nations increased the global race to join the nuclear club and made proliferation an even more lucrative practice for nations which need the income? In only the space of two short years this reckless and arrogant Administration has initiated policies which may reap disastrous consequences for years. One can understand the anger and shock of any President after the savage attacks of September 11. One can appreciate the frustration of having only a shadow to chase and an amorphous, fleeting enemy on which it is nearly impossible to exact retribution. But to turn one's frustration and anger into the kind of extremely destabilizing and dangerous foreign policy debacle that the world is currently witnessing is inexcusable from any Administration charged with the awesome power and responsibility of guiding the destiny of the greatest superpower on the planet. Frankly many of the pronouncements made by this Administration are outrageous. There is no other word. Yet this chamber is hauntingly silent. On what is possibly the eve of horrific infliction of death and destruction on the population of the nation of Iraq -- a population, I might add, of which over 50% is under age 15 -- this chamber is silent. On what is possibly only days before we send thousands of our own citizens to face unimagined horrors of chemical and biological warfare -- this chamber is silent. On the eve of what could possibly be a vicious terrorist attack in retaliation for our attack on Iraq, it is business as usual in the United States Senate. We are truly "sleepwalking through history." In my heart of hearts I pray that this great nation and its good and trusting citizens are not in for a rudest of awakenings. To engage in war is always to pick a wild card. And war must always be a last resort, not a first choice. I truly must question the judgment of any President who can say that a massive unprovoked military attack on a nation which is over 50% children is "in the highest moral traditions of our country". This war is not necessary at this time. Pressure appears to be having a good result in Iraq. Our mistake was to put ourselves in a corner so quickly. Our challenge is to now find a graceful way out of a box of our own making. Perhaps there is still a way if we allow more time. ============================================== Yesterday my Mom called me and talked about how she couldn't get out to go to church on Sunday because she was blocked-in by the ice and snow. So she watched a Christian Ministry TV show, that she liked to catch from time to time. She told me how this preacher used the bible to illustrate, point by point that the USA had to go to war with Iraq. She even said that she checked the verses he cited, by looking them up in the bible herself. Well, if this isn't proof of why we should go to war, what could be?<---Her belief, not mine! I tried, perhaps in vain, to convince her, that there was another side to the issue, and that the key words to what she was telling me was that the preacher "used the bible" to illustrate his views. Many times in the history of humans, other humans have "used the bible" or other religious or superstitious reasons to go to war, and have often as not been wrong or misleading in doing so! I tried to tie in Bush's oil interests, the vendetta against Hussein for threatening his father, even the notion that while Iraq may harbor terrorists, there hasn't been any proof given that Iraq was behind the terrorism. The idea that you don't arrest someone for what they might do, but only after they have committed a crime, is there a case. She remained transfixed on the words of the preacher. And of all the institutions which should be at the forefront of positive change for all humanity, the church seems forever perpetuating a fairy-tale land of dreams about how things used to be. Rather than accept and encourage the concept of racial equality, most churches are still almost completely segregated (in that they are all white, or all black, or all one or another racial or cultural background), voluntarily, but segregated nevertheless. This dream for how things used to be goes even to the point of one TV evangelist saying that they are "...going to take America back!" What is wrong with these people? Have they no compassion for their fellow man? Have they vision for the future? Do they really want to kill everyone else who doesn't look or act or believe like they do? I tried to keep my head while explaining to my Mother that I didn't feel the same way about the war with Iraq as she did. I tried to give reason as to why the TV preacher may mean well, but not have the right idea of the situation or how it shouold be handled. We ended the conversation amicably, though still at opposite ends of the issue. Of my close relatives, she is the most open-minded. That's why it affected me so much, to hear her spout the same old right-wing rhetoric/propaganda, that has become so ever-present. God! I'm sooo thankful for friends and peers, who are ever so much more open-minded and progressive in their beliefs, than my family! ======================================================== Funny article Chris! Monty Python, gotta love them! ======================================================== Coop, it musta been nice, to grow-up in those pristine surroundings! The trailer park travelogue from my hometown, hasn't been published yet, HA! But then perhaps that explains why I have some of the opinions that I have. I don't want to go back to that world! But hey, to each their own, while their own doesn't harm or affect the own's of others! Heh! Peace and Truth! Awwa \A/
Aw I have nothing really insightful or current-events-related to say, but it is always funny to see your old stomping grounds written up as a travelogue. And by somebody you went to school with, at that. This story is from one of my favorite bad humor sites and it is less flattering, but more realistic. LOL Jimmy, you're welcome to my gym locker. One of my most annoying memories from junior high was when my gym locker was broken into and my dirty gym clothes were stolen. (???) I later saw a girl wearing one of my shirts but I couldn't prove it was mine, it was one of those shirts everybody had in 1989. (long sleeved olive green mock turtleneck) Dang. Anyway, even though I don't know my own cell phone number, I still remember the combination to that lock, it is 17-0-27. I'm pretty sure I threw the lock out years ago, but hey.
coop I'm losing patience with my neighbours, Mr Bush by Terry Jones. (Monty Python?)
chiefwagonburner i once saw a ufo or something when my friend and i were camping in the desert. Of course my story lacks credibility because of the large amounts of mushrooms that we'd eaten, but I swear to god it wasn't the drugs. Granted, the drugs did make us think that a large rock near our tent was a mountain lion (i swear I saw it get up, walk in a small circle and lie down again) which freaked us out so much that we ended up sleeping in my bug (VERY uncomfortable), but the lights in the sky were something different. The way they moved and the speed and such were inexplicable to my feeble mind. But awful neat. I didn't feel scared either, just amazed. I was more scared of the distant branch of the Manson family that seemed to be camping nearby... I'm so neurotic. I love the desert and camping and all that, but as soon as I leave the city I'm always convinced that some lunatic is going to murder me in the wilderness. It doesn't stop me from doing stuff, but that fear is there. Considering the number of totally cracked out people living in a 3 block radius of me, my chances of murder by some lunatic are probably higher at home, but at least there'd be someone to hear my cries. Of course if there anything like me they probably don't pay any attention to someone screaming on the street. I'm not insensitive, its just that it becomes like white noise after awhile. I...love...livin' in the city!
Miss Speck and the Giant Librarians I ran around online for a bit following your links, Awwa. Most interesting to me are the Zero Point technology bits. Of course, most of it reeks of conspiracy theorist psycho-babble, which is cool in its own right. I know second-hand that the CIA frequently enlists (or once enlisted) the help of science-fiction writers though I am not quite sure for what purpose. Most likely is that they are used for disinformation purposes. I guess my suspicion is that conspiracy theories are propogated under the government's own heels in order to keep a healthy amount of disinformation available for the types of people whose talent for making connections exceeds the government's capacity to keep things hidden. In the case of traditional "misinformation", this type of thing is well documented and expected from any type of government. Conspiracy theory though, is a different dynamic. All of this stuff is heavy on the Games and Theory, stuff for which I have an eternal love. I suppose my interest in conspiracy theory stems both from my love of the truth and my love of fantasy though. Many of the conspiracy theories I've read, such as a recent one which claims the Space Shuttle Columbia was struck by a weapon which was invisible to witnesses because it made contact from the complex mathematical plane, are not devoid of theoretical possibility in some sense; at least in the mathematical sense, but they are otherwise so ridiculous that any real information they've stumbled upon is rendered incoherent by the nonsense it's encapsulated in. My favorite conspiracy theories concern aliens and alien technology; having witnessed one ufo myself (in the traditional sense, 'unidentified flying object') and having encountered friendly skeptics who have also seen them. I had a pair of friends who camped in the desert constantly. They have had frequent sightings which would chill your bones, and have even invited others to see them. In one case they and their in-laws sat in lawn chairs for an hour watching three glowing objects making triangle formations in the DAYTIME sky (three objects could only make a line or a triangle anyhow). The in-law was near panic-attack, but they had seen them so often they just went on a hike and chatted casually. ___________________________ Part of the problem of science is its inability to render the unknown. Godel and Heidegger are my champions in this area. Another problem with science is an accident of its rigidity; it has the tendency to create fanatics. Skeptics are often completely ridiculous in their skepticism. I find that skeptics often times make even less sense than the freaks they're attempting to discredit. ___________________________ Final note: I was at my old roommate's house yesterday. Her new roommate had a combination lock on his pantry to prevent the teenagers from getting to his food. It had three dials, each numbered from 0-9. It's typical of me to show up to her house starving and ready to pass out, and she's nice enough to make food for me. I usually get into trouble waiting for the food though. This time it was: "I'm going to get the combination for this lock." "I'm sure you are", she said, dumping noodles into a strainer. I couldn't tell if it was sarcasm at the time, though she's seen me do it before. How do I do it? I have no fucking idea. I set the counters to zero and just blanked out my mind while I let a number pop into my head. In the meantime, I asked her son to get me the stethoscope so that I could hear what was going on inside the lock. It didn't matter. Why? The number that popped into my head was one digit off. Two numbers were clear but the third was fuzzy, so I slid the dial on the uncertain part and the lock popped open easily. Technically, I had only tried 2 numbers. If I were a skeptic, I would say that stranger things have happened. I had 1 chance in 1000 to find the combination at random. The issue is that I have found the combination to several locks this way. Skeptics might point to a variety of environmental factors that would have clued me in but they would just be WRONG. In this case, the skeptic's argument is just as difficult to prove as my own. Yet the skeptic has more credit than I do. -until I find the combination to your gym locker, jimmy
jimmy Bwah, I lost my post earlier today. I hope today is better for you, Speck. How are the east-coast-chairites doing with the snow? We got home early today, a lovely thing. It took about twice as long as usual to get home, not too bad considering.
coop That's really sad Speck. I suspect that many of us are addicted to something, and that many of those are killing themselves with it. I drink alot, but mostly beer, and then usually justy until I feel tired enough to go to sleep. Which for me is 5 to 15 beers. I'm a large guy, and I usually don't drink that quickly. But I've found that anything stronger than beer knocks me out too fast. I can't just sip wine or mixed drinks. I used to do this nightly, but since being diagnosed with high blood sugar (a cop-out way to say, diabetes, but at least it's adult onset diabetes), I have cut-back to 3 to 5 nights a week. Being 46, it is yet showing affects. Not only am I overweight, but often I do have trouble sleeping without it, there are hang-overs (though usually limited unless I really do over-imbibe), and there are social times when I say or do stupid things. The latter is par for the course, but something I've worked on over the years. I've never liked fighting, so rather than get into more trouble (than just the effects of drinking), I've learned to limit and, or pace my intake, somewhat. I also solved part of the problem by staying alone, at home, another sign of alcoholism. But I still have the social interaction problems because I get on the Net, and say and do stupid things, Heh! Alcohol is a dangerous, stupid addiction to get caught-up in. But that's not the worse problem I'm wrestling with. I smoke cigarrettes. Now there's a totally unredeeming addiction that can do nothing but rack your body with problems! I've smoked a pack a day for 20 or so years and I can feel it. My lungs are often filled with phlem, which requires expectorating (coughing up and spitting out, disgusting!). I am short of breath, can not climb stairs very well (also a result of my weight), nor run but a block or two without being completely out of breath. I have colds and, or alergic reactions frequently, whereby my whole system seems to well up with fluid. And if I don't smoke, even just for a few hours (the length of a movie, or when things at work become too busy to get away (a smoke free working environment, at least), or a plane trip, Europe was rough on the 8 hour flights), I go crazy uintil I can get in a smoke or two. And it's plan stupid! It's like I used to be sooo against cigarrettes, growing-up! But then came the bars and the other smokable drug. No, at least I've never smoked anything harder than refer. I take that back, I have tried PCP a couple of times. But that's another long story. Bottomline, I never became addicted to PCP, and I don't plan to ever do it again! That really is a horrible drug, closer to whiffing glue or paint! These latter drugs all are neuro-toxins, meaning that you feel high because you are losing brain cells. Like alcohol... Ahhh, what was I saying? I'm fortunate in that I haven't been drawn to injectables, or cocaine or crack or meth for that matter. I've never done ecstasy nor many other hallucenogenics. But I have experimented with shrooms, cactii, and the biggeie Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Initially I had interesting results which might or might not have contributed to my Artistic inspiration. Some of the Art that I do now has a definite "trippy" appearance. I like the whole psychedelic look. But that's even when I'm not high, Heh! Which I am rarely these days, if on anything, would be alcohol or refer. But the main thing that happened to me regarding the harder halluginogens is that I became more and more introspective, in some ways tearing myself apart from the inside out. I'd be depressed about how my life was going or little things, flaws in my personality. They'd be blown-up, way out of proportion, all consuming. Some of my last trips had me praying (and I'm not a devout believer), that I'd come-out of the affects, that'd I'd recover, because at some point in the trip, that was in question. I'd say that I've tripped maybe 20 times, and some of that was on lower level hallucinogens than LSD (morning glory seeds, mescaline, shrooms, peyote). I haven't used any of these for 10 to15 years now (when did the "Wall" come down?). I don't reccommend hallucinogens to anybody. But if anyone decides that they are going to try them, please read about the drug first. Please find out as much as you can about the effects, so that you will have some idea of what to expect. Having a "ground control" (or designated driver), who is with you and not tripping is a good idea too. And don't drive! That's just stupid! But mostly, don't do anything (drugs, alcohol, cigarrettes, caffiene, etc), that you don't want to become addicted to! And in fact you don't want any addiction! It sometimes seems to be the social thing to do, "everyone else is tripping, drinking, smoking, jumping off a cliff..." But it's never worth it! Oh us Artists have such vivid imaginations, where do we get our ideas? It isn't from drugs! Drugs are not a worthwhile way to discover your innate creativity. And for recreation, they are only mildly useful, if kept under control. Problem is, that usually isn't for long. I'm not clean, at least not from alcohol or tobacco, and the occassional joint or two. And I fully support the medicinal use of some drugs (marijaunna to treat cancer patients seems a fair trade-off). So I haven't any room to talk. It justs seems easier if you never start! Sorry for your acquaintance Speck! It seems that you've seen plenty of this stuff, at least in acquaintances. I'd like to point out a couple of articles I've read recently, a little off the subject, more about conspiracy stuff. But interesting in that way, and they do site San Francisco and New York City as a CIA "safe-house" projects (whereby the CIA used borderline criminal street types, because of their disposablity), to test the affects of drugs, in particular LSD, on "unwitting" subjects. The case of Frank Olson (a Federal Chemist working on bio-chem agants for the US), is pretty interesting and how I found some of the other stuff. Most of this is supported by multiple sources, even CIA records which have been declassified due to the "Freedom of Information Act." heh, now there's some serendippity! Weren't we just talking about information gathering? Seems the government doesn't want to let go of much information either (not just us privacy seeking subjects), HA! This was where I first read about Frank Olsen (Olson?)... The Mysterious Death of CIA Scientist Frank Olson I've only read Chapters 5-6, but most of this seems to jibe with the first article. I'm sure that both are heavily based on the information made available by the CIA, due to the "Freedom of Information Act." The Search for the Manchurian Candidate: The CIA and Mind Control There're going to be "X-File" type conspiracists. This one may be one of those, taking leaps of faith with little evidence. But a lot of this is just repeating information in the other two articles. The Nessie Files And this one is way out there, Heh! But it is a fun read! And hey, even if you believe in a "God", isn't it just as likely that the world's religions have missed something, that maybe that god created other life on other planets. And the chance of humans being the first to go into space to discover these other lifeforms is just as unlikely. No, if there are aliens, it's more likely that they'd find us first, especially on the cusp of our space-worthiness. The Truth About ZP Technology I haven't read this one to any extent, but it seems to be one of the more legitiment. ACHES - MC: Advocacy Committee for Human Experimentation Survivors & Mind Control Well, that's the tip of the berg. The WWW is full of this stuff, as I'm sure most of you are aware. Any other interesting "Illuminatti" or "Conspiracy" sites out there? Peace, Privacy, and Painkillers, HA! Awwa \A/
Aw yes it's 3:18 in the morning, yes I'm writing a post. So my friend Liz came in from NY tonight and after a most bizarre evening of drinks and whatnot, we ended up at the Ha-Ra around the corner from my house. Ah, my favorite bar in the city. So we're sitting there enjoying our final drinks of the evening when Jerry, the alcoholic toothless old bartender, says to me "so if you were going to go to rehab which one would it be?" I wasn't sure what he was getting at, so I said I'd go to Walden House since I've had a few friends go there and it worked out well for them. But then I thought he was just talking theoretically so I changed my answer and said that I'd go to some place out in the country in Marin. But then I realized that he was serious and he meant for him and all of a sudden it turned really dark and sad. So yeah, he's an old alcoholic and he's tried AA but there's too much god in it (I can understand that. I went to a couple of NA meetings to support some friends that were trying to kick heroin and there can be a lot of god to swallow in those meetings) so he quit going. But now he's running out of time it seems and he must be feeling it because he's scared and sad and he wants to quit drinking. Of course it's 2am and he told me that he's been drinking since 6 (yeah right, at least 6 I'm sure) and I can see that he's smashed although he holds it together quite well. I think he's dying. From the way he was talking he is and he knows it. So Liz and I tried to talk to him about it and about quitting (which is all strange since Liz and her boyfriend of 3 years just broke up because he's a raging alcoholic and she couldn't take it anymore. So sad. He's such a good guy, but shit he's a mess. Synchronicity.) and that he's got to do it since he's killing himself, but whatever. It's the same shit that I used to talk to my junkie friends and they don't listen. Or they do, but just for those 5 minutes and nothing changes and they just break your heart a million times. Anyways. Jerry is scared and sad and I thought he was going to cry and it was awful. To get to the end and know that this is it and to know that you're killing yourself, but you can't stop it. He's not going to last long. I often see him stumbling out of this other bar, the Nite Cap, that's kitty corner from my house at 8:30am when I leave for work. He has to hang onto the sides of the buildings on the street as he slowly makes his way up the block. And he stops every few feet to lean there and pant. It's really an awful site. I told him that I see him do that and he just said, "yeah that place will be the death of me." yeesh. and here I am drunk at 3:30 in the morning writing about this like it's just a weird story and I'm so different. Well, I am but I can see where it all comes from.
Miss Speck and the Giant Librarians  the hand-off X, You'll be happy to know I delivered the goods today. They are now a part of the Zamboni library. I snapped this just as I handed off the package. Just moments afterward, a finch landed on one of our bicycles. It was obviously someone's pet, and sat there completely docile. One of us tried to approach it, but it fled just as he got to it. Later on, a man at Zarape's mexican resturaunt would ask my friend if he wanted to go home with him. His approach was a little creepy, and it seemed he might be a mental patient or something. The food was not great. Then we went to the beach, where I purchased a Chomsky book that was far too thin to be worth more than $5.00. I purchased 12 bottles of wine. There is one left. We took dozens of propaganda photos of our Charles Shaw collection. The Commie-Shaw photos...Good ol' Chuck Shaw. Bonfire tonight. The last remaining bottle is coming with; the attrition war is almost over. Wish you could be here. Any of you.  the Communist Army of Charles Shaw (Chuck is watching you, brother)
jimmy 
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